Motivation

Forbidden and Unsung Ones – Embracing Criticism and Our Failures

This column is authored by Ashish Sharma, Vice President at TT Consultants

embracing failuresThere are times in our lives where we are in debate with none other than but ourselves, times where we debrief our own existence. Moments of criticisms & failures can be one of those unfavourable phases in our existence where one can feel impotent and futile very easily.

All points in our lives cannot be acme and there will assuredly be some low moments. It’s up to us how to handle and control our emotions in those rough situations. Be it personal or professional front, criticism is just unavoidable.

Criticism is inevitable and omnipresent yet we all give our valiant efforts to escape it. Everyone at some point in their life have been criticised but people never cease to believe that they can never be castigated.

In such times, one can either choose to go away with the tide of emotions to act foolishly and worsen the situation OR one can act sagely and retrospect to learn.

My life has been a bid dipper ride and I, probably like everyone else, have seen many lows. There were a few people who respected me for who I am and my work, and at the same time there were many who criticised.

Again like many of us, I was able to overcome those difficult times, even I was better and stronger than before.

But here is a list of certain things that I learned from such times. It may help you, it may entertain you, it can attract criticism, but I’m sure it will definitely of some use.

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The more you Embrace it, the less power it has

Failures, adversities, criticism and bad times all have one thing in common, that these make you feel less valued easily.

Such times may also increase the anxiety and melancholy. We would like to run away from it and do not want to think about it but at the same time we can’t stop thinking about it.

People would advice you to not wonder anything about it. However, the truth is the more you start accepting it, the situation start becoming weaker.

Accepting does not mean that you start talking loudly with people about the situation, however, it is more about convincing yourself that these low moments are just part of the life just like the happy moments and these will certainly go away and you may not even remember this bad time ten years down the line.

So, be calm and accept the fact that life is a melody of high and low notes.

Take off your shield

Sometimes, we can’t control how people perceive us, and in such situations we should always keep away our ego and just not indulge in the further argument.

If you really want someone to stop attacking you, sometimes its better to keep your armor away and call it a truce.

Remember that people who are trying to defame you are not fighting with you but they are fighting with themselves.

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Don’t drag yourself in the mud that they are in

Some people through there tactics always want to drag you to their low standards because they can’t accept and respect you for who you are.

Such people want to use different ways to pull you down to their lower standards.

Be careful, because if you do not stop yourself they will succeed in their motive. Control your emotions and do not drag yourself into their world.

Replace your anxiety with equanimity

Even at your best, people will always have something to criticise you and it is almost difficult to please everyone. So be happy and enjoy the ride.

Last but not the least, affair with criticism is graceful only when you succeed

People love stories about failures & criticisms, and the bragging about your past failures feels romantic only when you are able to succeed later on. So do not try to please people instead focus on your goal and keep working toward it.

Always remember that many successful people in the world were criticised, bullied and forbidden at some moment in their lives but they were able to overcome those with their persistence and beliefs. So don’t be afraid of being a forbidden and unsung hero, only a few have a privilege to live a successful life.

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12 Comments

  1. 1

    Thanks for sharing. I haven’t done many things that you mentioned in such difficult times in the past. But, I will try to get ready for failure and disappointment.

  2. 2
  3. 3

    I don’t agree with the last sentence!. If we understand that success has many meaning in different domains and cultures, the potential for a successful life is in every one of us. All that’s required is to know who we are, what we want to be and how to achieve it. It’s not easy, but it’s attainable because it’s in our human nature to stride for personal and social betterment.

    • 4

      @Camila, Thanks for the comment and I hope you liked the rest of the blog.
      I also agree with you that everyone human being is successful in their own realm. I think the last line was misconstrued. The real idea was to tell the people who has been criticised and hated for trying something in their life that they should not be afraid of being left alone. Instead they should try keep trying and should not stop themselves just because of some conspiracy. Hope I was able to clarify.
      Thanks for your valuable inputs again.

  4. 5

    Truly said Ashish , Leadership comes with it’s pros & cons but one needs to be focused. It’s about setting an example and doing right and not just pleasing everyone.

  5. 7

    Its all well said, criticism is the inevitable part of success. And every-time it teaches a lesson, so you just have to face it, learn from it and grow 🙂 🙂

  6. 9
    • 10

      @Tanu, I also agree with you. At the same time it’s important to show empathy to others. Critics are the best friends if we learn from then. Btw thanks for your comment.

  7. 11

    I think a major problem with our leadership culture is the mythic and inherently fake image we often have in our minds – mighty person with no blemish coming to the rescue in his/her shiny armour.

    Such a myth is extremely toxic, as it turns every single mistake or failure into a seemingly unvincible obstacle.

    In my opinion, true leadership means embracing one’s humanness, too.

    • 12

      To stand out from the crowd, one need to face differences many times.
      If one can do it gracefully without justifying to others, the person will hopefully achieve great heights.

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