This curated column is authored by Thomas Oppong, Founding Editor at Alltopstartups
“A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people’s business.” — Eric Hoffer
It is human nature to want to be liked and accepted, hence the insane pursuit of conformity. But you can make a conscious effort to stop giving a damn; to let yourself free. It’s a skill that needs to be practiced, like any other skill. Once you truly understand how to let go, you will see the world from an entirely different perspective.
The world is constantly telling you that everything you are not is what makes you happy. The other persons “great” job, a better car, a new and bigger house etc. Giving a f*ck about everything the world wants you to have makes you more miserable about what you are not or don’t have.
Don’t focus your life and efforts on chasing a mirage. It causes mental health problems you don’t want. You are probably too busy giving a f*ck about so many things around you that you’ve practically stopped living. The key to the good life you really need is giving a damn about what’s important to your growth, career and total well being.
When you stop giving a damn about what people think, your self-confidence will definitely shoot through the roof faster than you can ever imagine. You’ll start to believe in yourself and what you can offer the world, without letting outside influences stop you or sway your decisions.
The more you desperately want to be like someone else, the more unworthy you feel. The more you desperately want to be happier, the lonelier you become, despite the awseome people surrounding you. Mental toughness, happiness and living life to the fullest come from knowing what to care about–and most importantly, what not to care about.
Mark Manson, NYTimes bestselling author of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” explains it better:
In life, our fucks must be spent on something. There really is no such thing as not giving a fuck. The question is simply how we each choose to allot our fucks. You only get a limited number of fucks to give over your lifetime, so you must spend them with care. As my father used to say, “Fucks don’t grow on trees, Mark.” OK, he never actually said that. But fuck it, pretend like he did. The point is that fucks have to be earned and then invested wisely. Fucks are cultivated like a beautiful fucking garden, where if you fuck shit up and the fucks get fucked, then you’ve fucking fucked your fucks all the fuck up.
Forget your weaknesses. Play to your strengths
It’s easier to play to your strengths. Don’t compensate for your weaknesses.
Chances are you are paying too much attention to negative information. Millions of people are worried and always thinking about how to get rid of their weaknesses.
What if you turn things around and focus on your strengths instead. The bitter truth is, you may never overcome your weaknesses but you could make significant changes to how you live and work if you focus on what you are good at. The key here is that you don’t have to change who you are; you have to become more of who you are. Know your weaknesses and accept them: embrace your fears, faults and uncertainties. Start confronting the painful and brutal truth about yourself.
In a study by Harvard Business Review, it was noted that while people remember criticism, awareness of faults doesn’t necessarily translate into better performance.
It was further discovered that knowing your strengths offers you a better understanding of how to deal with your weaknesses — and helps you gain the confidence you need to address them.
It allows you to say, “I’m great at leading but lousy at numbers. So rather than teach me remedial math, get me a good finance partner.”
Instead of worrying about what you are not good at and trying everything you can to be good at it, why not play to your strengths. You can’t be good at everything. Actually you could, but you cannot be great at anything.
Be comfortable with being different!
When we allow ourselves to exist truly and fully, we sting the world with our vision and challenge it with our own ways of being. — Thomas Moore
You don’t have to fit in. You are not required to be like everybody. Don’t fit in if it hurts. Don’t be afraid to embrace your true authentic self. Don’t fear how the world will percieve you. Whilst others are trying to fit in with the rest of the world, make the world fit in with you.
Become immune to the impact of others’ opinion and stand naked in a crowd of ideas; comfortable in knowing that while others married the mundane, you explored the exceptional. If you don’t care about showing your work to the rest of us no matter how loud your inner critic gets, you are on to something.
Don’t fail to exercise your right to try something new and change routines to make things better, faster or smarter. There is always a better option. Get into the habit of questioning the rules, of becoming curious about where you could try something different and where you could throw the windows open. You will be surprised at you are capable of. Things can only get better.
In a world where everybody follows the rules, nobody has time to notice. People practically do the same thing over and over again. What is there to notice: nothing. Nobody cares that you are working your heart out to get the work done.
Did you get your part done? That’s all your superior or immediate boss want to know. You are part of a process and if it works, you are supposed to stay there and do your job. People who take the world by storm created their own rules with huge resistance. But they still did it any away.
Know yourself. Own yourself. Be yourself
My great mistake, the fault for which I can’t forgive myself is that one day I ceased my obstinate pursuit of my own individuality. — Oscar Wilde
Don’t wait for approval. Ask for forgiveness, not permission. The only thing holding you back from doing something truly amazing, is you. If you want to do something amazing, don’t just talk about it, just go do it.
Take charge of your life. If you’re unsatisfied with the present, do something different — your life won’t change unless you create the change. If you are comfortable outside your safe zone, you are on to something.
Stop giving a f*ck about everything you are not and start living! Your life will significantly improve if you care less everything people think you are not, and care more about the impression you have of yourself.
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